Small Kindnessess

Sunlight And Shadows ,The Newbury Marshes - Martin Johnson Heade — 1871-1875

A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way

As my days blend into weeks and I do the inner work of reflecting, healing, inward journeying, deep soul searching when I look back on things what stands out are small acts of kindness.

So really this is an invitation to get out and do something - even the smallest thing, extend a little thoughtful gesture towards a stranger and let the expanse of your heart do exactly what it's meant to do - expand outward in love towards another.

My recollections are many and they well up in me with a feeling of kindredness that is so delightful - I wish we all could feel this feeling and be this for someone else.

There was that moment I sat in my car scanning the lot for a shopping cart to take my massive boxes into the UPS store to ship - and aha there it is, but oh shit wait - this cart has those stupid-smart wheels that let thieves get only so far before they can dash with a cart full.

Makes me wonder. Are they trying to save the cart cause once you let em all the way out the door - not much can be done at that point. Not much that seems can be done anyway so really I'm not sure how smart the stupid smart cart really is?

In my case - not helpful, smart or kind. The thing just locked up on me so I couldn't use it to get to my car to load up those boxes I couldn't carry.

And while I did little forethinking before I got there - I just, I guess assumed I'd figure it out.

Lo and behold a wonderfully dashing man came over to help me grab my boxes. It was like something out of a movie. I have no idea why he wanted to help. Was he trying to flirt? Did he have an ulterior motive? Who is this man's mama cause boy he was raised right? Was I in the south and encountering a Southern Gentleman - the ones you only hear about in the Pacific Northwest? No I was in the Bay Area and it's a mystery who he was, why he was the way he was, where he came from, even bigger mystery where was he going after this, no wedding band, but he spent a good 3 minutes going out of his way helping me, making small talk, beaming at me with twinkles in eyes, holding the door open and then gave me the softest firmest clench on my shoulder and said, "have a great day." And just like that invisible cape and all was off into the sunset.

Now - I know I started this by talking about small acts of kindness and to many this would be grand and to me it was grand, but to him I know he probably never thought about it ever again. I'm sure he's helping some damsel in distress somewhere around the bay right now as we speak.

So really it's about those little things. Helping a stranger grab something they dropped. Holding the door. Smiling. Making small talk in that line at TJ's that stands still leaving you wondering when you'll get out of there as everyone around you checks out and gets the fuck out of there.

It's the small acts of kindness - like when the random woman in a beat up old minivan loaded with plants too big for her car bought me my drink in the Starbucks drive through - when I still frequented SB before I boycotted it.

It's the nice elderly man who looked like he had to pee really bad and might've even been holding it in all in - in who knows what, but let me, damn well insisted even, I go before him. Oh my God I over thanked him and promised I'd be fast and out in a jiffy and of course - thanked him a few more times on my way out - cause holy shit I needed to go.

It's the kind little old lady with her shirt on inside out and a tag the size of Jupiter standing straight up at Whole Foods who let me cut her in line to checkout my salad cause it's all I had. She couldn't get her shirt on straight, no judgment, but boy was she the cutest little, heart-centered Louise Haye look-alike I'd ever seen. I'm hopeful someone has let her cut them since at least once, but multiple times even.

I started letting people cut all the time after this and what a joy it is to do something so little and get so much back. The overwhelming gratitude and positive energy that has flowed back to me has been worth all the few extra minutes I've ended up waiting. Love just standing there eating my heart out at the thought of how wonderful it feels to be that thoughtful and that kind. Yeah. I'm talking about me. You can too!

And when I get to thinking I have a handful of these stories where someone acted out of kindness, not out of necessity, but out of heart - and while my memory is starting to deceive me on occasion as I ripen with age, sultry greys and a boat load of wisdom under my belt - the best, or one of the best was when I stumbled on my ass coming out of Crogan's in downtown Walnut Creek on the slippery concrete steps on a day as dry as a summer in the Mojave. Out of nowhere - two really young guys who looked like they'd downed a bottle of Jack Daniels, possibly two with fake IDs, came to my rescue to help me back up on my feet. They even kneeled down and sat there with me, one on each side, as I collected my thoughts, my ego, my awareness. We all chuckled and in a matter of seconds they had me back on my feet, off with my girlfriends to the next bar when really I needed a pillow, heating pad and a hot chocolate. I settled for an Irish Whiskey when we got to the Yacht Club across the street.

We never really grasp fully the power of a little kindness and how far it truly goes. That little gesture goes beyond that singular moment. Perhaps if we knew how truly powerful it was we'd be doing more of this.

A little act of kindness can stay with someone for years even and there is something very wonderful to be said for this.

First off - I feel there just is not enough of this - especially in the world that is morphing before us. Truth, loyalty, a gentle spirit, a welcoming embrace, a sincere compliment, a soft gaze, a heartfelt smile, a soft hand, a big hug are what we ultimately all crave.

How easy it is to let your misfortunes out on the world cause of course it's all this random stranger's fault, but how even mightier is it to give from the heart with a little gesture that has the potential to light up someone's world even if just for a nano second.

How fulfilling it is to give in this way - to connect in this way. The power of love and connection and humanity can never be understated, but unfortunately I do believe it's heavily underrated.

How hard is it to do a little something that would mean so much to someone or touch them so deeply, or leave them feeling warm and fuzzy? The irony is we get so much out of it - when someone receives and delights in that small act of kindness we are the ones that light up more than they. We, the giver, the protagonist, the kindness dispeller are the ones that feel even if just for a moment a deep sense of satisfaction, fulfillment, fullness, and love.

After all - Isn’t that what it's all about?